Sky diving. noun.  [skahy-dahy-ving]

Definition:
An activity where one jumps out of a plane with a parachute on their back and falls thousands of feet before opening their chute (most of the time without any “aggravations”) and land back on the ground just as if they had jumped down from a 5MPH moving truck (again, results vary.)
White boy: I think I’ll go skydiving this weekend. 
Marcus: You be crazy. (See Urban Dictionary)
If you have kept up to date with my radio show and Facebook updates, you’ll know that I have recently taken up the hobby of sky diving.
This actually started many months ago when I was investigating what the freshers fair at BU had to offer, and fancied straying a bit further from the crowd at the Baking Society or the effort of the Boat Club.

I will be honest, I did sign up with the intention of enjoying a relaxing tandem jump, where I could just casually enjoy the journey down and leave the lovely instructor to do all the hard work. This was proven not to be the case when I was introduced to sky diving as a sport not just a one-off treat.
Tempted to run out of the first meeting, I decided that I would man up and sign my name down permanently. At this time I was in a blissful bubble where I could boast about being part of the BUFF club (Bournemouth University Free Fallers), and not think about the consequences until I was in the aircraft.
The good thing is that this dreamy state lasted till the moment I started queuing to board the wafer like plane at the Neveravon drop zone. My stubborn pride, and the fact I had handed over £130, made me press on, but the tears began to fall and probably created one the most terrifying moments of my life. On board, I was squeezed in around 6th place in a 12 man plane, and continued the ascent with sporadic floods of tears as I dared to look out the window.
The plane came to flatten out between 3,500 – 4,000 feet in the sky, and people began to launch themselves out. Being as comforted as possible by friends who were as equally scared but not losing all credibility with hot drips rolling down their faces, I was called to the door.
I shuffled over, hung my legs out the side door which were immediately blown right back with the wind, and did my best to adopt the door position. “Look up!” shouted the instructor, as I made eye contact I whimper “I’m scared.”
“GO!” and out I pushed myself.
I didn’t remember a lot of the first few seconds, until I felt the pull of the parachute releasing itself from the static line. Looking around and coming back to reality, I realised that for what I thought I was losing my life over seconds ago was actually fine and I had survived my petrifying experience.
Now with three jumps in my record book, I can say that I no longer blub like an infant when I get in the plane, in the door or on the way down. But I will also say technique wise – I wouldn’t say I am a natural jumper. I have spent all my jump tickets for now, and considering all of these have been in severely cold weather, including my last jump in the snow, I will not be jumping until the warmer weather show’s its face.
I signed up to BUFF club for the experience, and I have certainly had that. I have loved the feeling of survival as soon as I am out of the door, yet my nerves to progress further with the sport are still shaking. Perhaps I’ll get better, learn to pull my parachute, or even attempt the free-falling and formations direction of the sport.
All I know, is that it took all my nerve to do it, and I’m pleased I have.
In the meantime, I think I’ll stay on the ground wrapped up with a hot cup of tea.
If you feel like enjoying witnessing my sheer terror. I’m getting ready to jump from around 7,30.

 

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BLOG: The Do’s & Don’t’s of Room Rape

The activity of ‘room rape’ will either bring haunting memories, or spark a cheeky glint in the beholders eye. Urban Dictionary provides a delightful definition:

When you go into someones room, with or without them there and trash it by turning things such as bags, bins, draws and upside down and generally messing things up and then leaving them the turmoil to clean up. It is usually committed as a joke as opposed to a harmful act.
Man returns to find his room in a complete mess
“Ahh shoot! I’ve been room raped!”
This mischievous activity is a specialty among students and immature people alike. As the definition describes this is a committed joke which takes time effort and comes with some revenge risks. Here are my top five 'Do's and Don't's' for Room Raping a friend.

1) Do something elaborate

It’s one thing covering your friend’s room all in newspaper or cling film, but what makes a truly exceptionally room rape is something that takes a long time for your victim to clear. An example of something could be to go crazy on some plastic cups by filling them all with water and line your prey’s floor.

Or take this option a step further by filling these cups with unpleasant substances….. like cereal! Once those choco flakes have expanded and made the water all ‘chocolatey’ it demonstrates creativity.

2)  Do get as many people involved as possible

A room rape is not easy. It takes time, and often sneeky room raiders have to work fast or risk being caught in the act. So invest as many hands to get wrapping, filling cups, and swapping around food cupboards. Maybe even get the friendly neighbour cat involved to help and play scape goat for all this mess…

3) Do make a cryptic game for your victim to enjoy

These are good hours of time well spent, and many of us want to tease our target with cryptic clues to leave them bemused before their return. These may include intriguing rhyming texts hinting towards the havoc your friends have caused or meaningless tasks to gauge the whereabouts of your clueless stooge.

4) Do expect revenge…

The underdog in question may not be as impressed with your committed efforts as you and your friends are (I know right?). In this case, the cups of cereal-y water may have back fired in terms of indoors water fight, and half an hour of self-protection through the means of a bedroom lock in. Ergo, if you execute a successful room rape , then always be warned to keep your bedroom locked from then onwards.

5) Don’t get too carried away…

All fun and games are a good laugh until someone gets hurt. Whether this be emotionally or physically, be wary there are lines that should not be crossed. Don’t break the person’s belongings, do not make your room rape changes irreversible and finally do not break your finger when running away from flying cups of water.